Women: Not All Men Want To "Grab You By The Pussy"

Women: Not All Men Want To "Grab You By The Pussy"

Dear Women:

What we say and do when we think no one is listening is sometimes the truest reflection of who we are. That is what's most frightening about Donald Trump's “grab them by the pussy” comment, that it happened behind closed doors.

Trump's now infamous catch phrase combined with Pence's views on abortion and Planned Parenthood, have left you and us afraid. On Inauguration Day and the day to follow, millions of you marched all over the country in protest of how the 45th President and his sidekick could negatively impact women's healthcare. I was in Chicago and witnessed the unwavering women marching in front of Trump Tower.

I want women to know they aren't alone in their fear.

There are men in the world, of all ethnicities and sexual orientations, that are concerned about your health care. We believe YOU, and no one else, should decide what YOU do with YOUR body.

When Donald Trump said he grabs women by the pussy, he meant it both literally and figuratively. He wholeheartedly believes and purposefully conveyed that a man with money and power can do anything he wants to anyone, especially women. His choice in Vice President validates that grabbing women by the pussy is exactly what he intends to do.

Donald Trump can parade around the country now and give excuses for what he said, and continue to disregard how his comments have made women feel. But to every woman in this country and around the world, I want to reassure you that he doesn't represent all men. But more importantly, I want to say, I'm sorry.

I asked the closest women in my life if they've ever felt sexually violated by a man; all but two said yes. If this is any indication of how the rest of the women in the world feel, we have a huge problem. One of the women asked what I meant by “sexually violated”. I couldn't answer that. I can't answer that. No one can answer that. The only person that can define feeling sexually violated is the one experiencing it.

Because even when we look out of the same window, we can be staring at completely different views.

Are there some women who aren't offended by Trump's comments? I'm sure. By now, we've seen the picture circulating the Internet of a Trump supporter wearing a shirt that says, “Trump can grab my” and an arrow pointing south.

Yet and still, I'm sorry.

I want you to know that not all men feel like he does. Not all men think it's comical or inconsequential to force ourselves onto a woman and grab her by any part of her body. I'm sorry if a man has ever made you feel uncomfortable or less than. I'm sorry if you've been walking down the street and a man catcalled you and caused you to walk a little faster, or stared too long and made you feel undressed.

I want you to know that you can wear whatever you want, and there are men who understand that your mini skirt, thong bathing suit, or plunging neckline isn't an open invitation for men to harass you. I want you to know that there are men who understand that you own your sexuality and how you express it.

Women, I want you to know there are men who are disgusted and embarrassed by Donald Trump's comments, and I don't want you to let him represent who we are. I want you to know that there are men who are feminists and understand that “feminism” means equal, not better than or above. I want you to feel safe around men. And even when our President, President Donald Trump, makes you feel alone, thrown away, and disregarded, remember there are men all over the world who stand in your corner. Not as co-opts, but as allies. 

Feelin' Icelandic

Feelin' Icelandic